How Do You Keep a Moron In Suspense?

You've heard that old joke, of course. The answer is "I'll tell you tomorrow." Well, my friend Barbara did something like that to me, sending me an e-mail on Tuesday whose title said "DO NOT OPEN TIL 4/20/07," complete with a red priority exclamation point.

Now, I'm an "instant gratification" kind of person. I don't like to wait! But suddenly I was facing an ethical dilemma: While Barbara wouldn't know if I opened the e-mail before today, I would. Since she asked (well, TOLD) me to wait until today, I felt obligated to do so. And so I respected her request and didn't open the e-mail until I got home from work this morning, even though I was consumed with curiosity. It was not easy.

Anyway, the message told me to watch for a package arriving today (since I was inconveniently celebrating my birthday on Sunday). And sure enough, the UPS guy brought me a box with a couple of deep-dish Malnati's pizzas from Taste of Chicago. My mouth is watering already! Now that is a good friend, folks! And I've almost forgiven her for keeping me in suspense for 2-1/2 days. Almost.