Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

I'm here to tell you, the world is going to Hell in a handbasket. Let's go to the news stories, shall we?

Police: Denver woman, 20, stabs boyfriend, 72

A 20-year-old woman and a 72-year-old man were "intimate friends" until romance turned to violence, said Denver District Attorney's spokeswoman Lynn Kimbrough.

Jennifer Stroth was arrested on a domestic violence charge in Loveland on Feb. 17, after the couple had moved from Denver.

The ensuing investigation turned up evidence of two earlier knife attacks on her paramour when they shared a home in the 4900 block of Raleigh Street in Denver, Kimbrough said. Stroth is accused of stabbing the man on Feb. 1 and Feb. 16.


According to court records, she has been arrested numerous times on drug, theft and assault charges since turning 18 in June 2005, including an arrest by Aurora police on assault, battery and damaging private property charges stemming from a domestic violence case in November 2006.

Drugs? I'm shocked, shocked! A lot of words come to mind, all starting with C-R-A: Crazy. Crackhead. And Cradle-robber. A word to would-be long-in-the-tooth Lotharios: If she's more than fifty years younger than you and crazy enough to let you poke her, then she's probably crazy enough to poke you with something sharp. Don't do it, grandpa.

And then there's this one:

Devil-Worshipping Rapist Attacks Fiancée During Prison Leave

A British woman who regularly visits prison inmates fell in love with one, and it almost got her killed, the Yorkshire Evening Post reports. The West Yorkshire woman, whose identity was not released, fell for a convicted rapist serving a life sentence and would visit him for several hours every few weeks.

After the prisoner was released on parole to a hostel, he began spending weekends at her home and they eventually became engaged, the Yorkshire Evening Post reports.

"For the first six months things went very well," the woman told a jury, the Yorkshire Evening Post reports. "He was very kind and very caring; I always found him to be like that when he was in prison."

The woman told a jury that the relationship took a turn for the worse when the convicted criminal "started saying 'there's no such thing as God,' and then started praying to Satan."

She went on to say that her fiancé would go "absolutely crazy," insisting that they were not having intercourse often enough. When she tried to end the relationship the man allegedly attacked her with a carving knife at her home, holding it to her throat, saying, "Well, this might make you change your mind," the Yorkshire Evening Post reports.

But he was such a "kind and caring" fellow! I mean, sure, he was serving a "life" (ha-ha-ha) sentence for rape, but that must have just been a misunderstanding, right? Equal time for advice here, ladies: If he's in prison, he ain't no Prince Charming. Even if he's just in there for dope, it proves he's an idiot. And rapists? You're probably safer taking up a new career learning to juggle chainsaws. Seriously.