Odd News

Sometimes I read the Odd News headlines and one just grabs me and says, "Read this!" The compulsion is irresistible. Here are a couple of recent ones for you:

Van was rocking, police were knocking

[Or "Drop the Chalupa!" - ed.]
VAN BUREN, Ark. - Amorous behavior in a Taco Bell parking lot led to an arrest on Sunday night. Van Buren police received a number of calls about the activities of a couple inside a van in the restaurant's parking lot.

Police said officers found the couple "in a manner that was offensive to the public." Officers reported finding bags of marijuana in the van during a search.

James McCormick, 32, was cited for possession of marijuana.

Um, was that all he was cited for? I can almost hear the conversation at the drive-through window: "Do you want hot sauce with that?" "No, we'll make our own!"

But this one is one of the best I've ever seen, featuring sex, violence, alcohol and stupidity in one neat package:

Naked woman with hammer charged with assault

Police Sunday night arrested a Des Moines woman armed with a hammer, who was naked, following a domestic dispute where several individuals, including an officer, were assaulted.

According to a Des Moines police report, officers were called to 817 Buchanan Street on a domestic dispute with a hammer. They arrived and met with Sheree Sanford, 51, who said Satin Delfrano, 32, had been assaulting her and two other women.

Police found a blue van in the driveway with it's windows shattered and glass strewn on the driveway. Sanford said Delfrano was upstairs and had just smashed out the van's two large rear windows with a bed frame.

Officers went upstairs into a bedroom and found Delfrano naked with a hammer.

After being allowed to get dressed, police handcuffed her and escorted her outside where she tried to walk away on her knees and then kicked an officer in his right leg causing injury.

Another woman at the residence, Joyce Beaman, 46, said Delfrano had stayed the night and began drinking that morning, becoming severely intoxicated. Lisa Miller, 39, who was also present at the time, said Delfrano later became enraged for unknown reasons and began hitting her.

Miller said Delfrano scratched and gouged her eyes; police took photos of abrasions under her eyes.

Another woman then arrived who is in an intimate relationship with Delfrano. Delfrano grabbed her hair and began slamming her head against a wall before tearing her clothes off, grabbing a hammer and walking up and down the street.
So we have a drunk, naked angry lesbian with a hammer and a penchant for shattering glass and rough play. If you click the link, you'll see her booking picture. There's nothing soft about Satin! She definitely won't be in the running for Iowahawk's Hoosegow Honey of the Month.