Man Bites Dog... Er, Snake

There are times when you read the first paragraph of a news story and have a pretty good idea that copious amounts of alcohol must have been involved. This is one of those stories:
BELFAST, Northern Ireland - A Northern Ireland man bit his girlfriend's pet snake in half during a fight and remarked that it "tasted lovely," lawyers testified Friday.
Seems pretty likely to me! The story goes on to note that the man had been charged with assault for head-butting his girlfriend twice, as well as for "fatally torturing her royal python."

The nut graf at the end?
Cooke's lawyer, Adrian Higgins, said his client admitted both offenses and had attacked the snake because he knew his girlfriend loved it. He said Cooke, from the border village of Keady, had been consuming alcoholic drinks for several hours before the attack.
I'm shocked, shocked!