3.01.2009

Worst Idea of the Week

They had to go a long way to beat out President Obama's bloated multi-trillion dollar spending orgy budget, but the adult film company Vivid managed to come up with a worse idea: They offered "Octomom" Nadya Suleman up to $1 million to star in one of their adult movies.

Now, there is a market out there for porn flicks involving M.I.L.F.s, but most of them have had a few years to get their bodies back into shape. Anyone who saw the "belly" pics of the pregnant Suleman would realize that she undoubtedly hasn't had the opportunity to do so. If she was on her hands and knees, her belly would be dragging on the floor, which is not an appealing visual even to the kinkiest perv. The stretch marks on her stretch marks have stretch marks!

And if you think her belly is stretched out, well, that's probably not the only thing; after popping out 14 children, eight of them in the last litter, even a porn star-sized tool would rattle around in that thang like a clapper in a church bell. Please, Octomom, keep that last shred of dignity and spare our eyes.