"He Won The Bet"

That's what will probably end up on the tombstone of the late Sergey Tuganov (Yes, that's really his name! I'm not making that up!) who collapsed and died after a 12-hour marathon threesome, during which he consumed an entire bottle of Viagra. The maximum safe dosage is 100 mg, according to the doctor on the Fox News Channel, which is either one or two pills.

It seems that the 28-year-old man had a $4300 bet with the two women about whether he could keep them satisfied non-stop for the entire twelve hours. Tuganov won the bet, but had a heart attack and died minutes later; it was the ultimate Pyrrhic phallic victory.

I'm sure that well over 90% of the world's men would like to go out that way, although certainly at a more advanced age. Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse? No, I want to look like Keith Richards and exit the stage as a centenarian.

That all begs the question: How the hell are they going to get the casket closed?

UPDATE: The comments at Fark.com (where Tuganov is referred to as "a modern day John Henry", among other things) are priceless.

I was particularly amused by this one, by a commenter named Tortilla Burger:
Today we salute you, Mr. Sex Mad Viagra Orgy Man.
(Mr. Sex Mad Viagra Orgy Man)
Some men are finished in two minutes and promptly fall asleep afterwards.
But you guzzled a bottle of Viagra and kept it going for 12 straight hours.
(Two women at the same time!)
There's no better way to leave this Earth than after a half-day threeway sexathon.
(Damn my hips are tired)
Perhaps you'd have lived if you gave up after the first 6 hours, but sometimes a man's got to stand by his principles.
(Other things are standing too)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Beast With Three Backs. Let's face it, there's nothing you could do to top this anyway.
(Mr. Sex Mad Viagra Orgy Man)