3.28.2007

Animal Story Farm, Day 2

Because some animal stories are still more equal than others:

CUTE KNUT NOT KILLER!
Panda death stuns Berlin after polar bear euphoria
BERLIN (Reuters) - Berlin Zoo denied media allegations on Tuesday that Knut the celebrity polar bear cub was responsible for the sudden demise of one of its older attractions, a 22-year-old panda who was found dead in her cage.

Just four days after the euphoria over the debut of three-and-a-half-month-old "Cuddly Knut", the mysterious death of Chinese-born Yan Yan stole the headlines in Tuesday's German newspapers.

Top-selling Bild reported the influx of visitors to the zoo -- about 30,000 a day -- could have stressed the black and white bear, who spent much of her time lying on her back chomping at bamboo shoots.
When you spend most of your time lying on your back chomping bamboo shoots, everything else probably seems stressful.

One wonders whether Yan Yan might be one of the panda porn stars who failed to get the attention of Chuang Chuang, the male panda in yesterday's story from Thailand. "Well, all she does is lay there!" the uninterested Chuang Chuang might have exclaimed. Well, if he could talk, he might have.

UPDATE: And how could I have missed this one?

NEW FASHION TREND!
Woman stopped wearing girdle of live crocodiles
JERUSALEM (AP) -- A woman was caught with three crocodiles strapped to her waist at the Gaza-Egypt border crossing after guards noticed that she looked "strangely fat," officials said.

The woman's odd shape raised suspicions at the Rafah terminal in southern Gaza, and a body search by a female border guard turned up the animals, each about 50 centimeters (20 inches) long, concealed underneath her loose robe, according to Maria Telleria, spokeswoman for the European observers who run the crossing.

"The woman looked strangely fat. Even though she was veiled and covered, even with so many clothes on there was something strange," Telleria said.

The incident, which took place on Thursday, sparked panic at the crossing.

"The policewoman screamed and ran out of the room, and then women began screaming and panicking when they heard," Telleria said. But when the hysteria died down, she said, "everybody was admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body."
I suppose her suicide bomber belt must have been at the cleaners...