2.09.2007

Thoughts on Anna Nicole's Passing

It's too bad about poor Anna Nicole Smith. I have a theory about her death: I believe that she was taken out by a NASA hit squad, in order to divert attention from the foibles of astronaut Lisa Nowak. Think about it: Now the Greta Van Susterens of the world will all be heading from Houston to Hollywood, Florida, to cover the cause of Anna Nicole's death and the upcoming custody battle for her 5-month-old baby. All those media vultures hanging out in front of Lisa Nowak's house will flock to the new location, and NASA will be out of the negative publicity spotlight for a while. And how far is it from Cape Canaveral to Hollywood, Florida? Not far, not far at all. Inject her with a lethal dose of drugs and everyone will think it was an accident or suicide. Brilliant!

Tune in next time when I explain why Harry Truman actually was the one who set up the JFK assassination.

Actually, I'd want to watch out for the health of that baby, given how much money she's worth at this point. It's kind of like the books/movie A Series of Unfortunate Events, except there's just one orphan. Everyone else seems to be dying off, though: The old geezer Anna Nicole married, the geezer's son, Anna Nicole's 20-year-old son and then Anna Nicole herself. Now only the baby is left...