Maybe She Would Have Been Happier Staying A Lesbian

Today's mini-social commentary follows:
Heche Says Estranged Husband Is a Liar

LOS ANGELES - Anne Heche wants sole custody of her 5-year-old son, saying her estranged husband is a liar who is trying paint her as a bad mother. In a Superior Court declaration filed Monday, Heche, 37, said Coleman Laffoon made "heinous false statements" and was not a proper stay-at-home parent.

When their son, Homer, stays with Laffoon in Los Angeles, he sends the boy to preschool or leaves him with nannies and baby sitters while he "plays pingpong, backgammon and poker and views pornography online," Heche stated.

"He holds a poker game at his home every Thursday night and allows Homer to participate," Heche contended.


Laffoon and Heche were married Sept. 1, 2001. He filed for divorce Feb. 2, citing irreconcilable differences, and is seeking joint custody and more than $30,000 a month in spousal support.

Heche wants no spousal support awarded.
Ah, where to start? I don't have a problem with the guy letting the five-year-old play poker. Card games help kids learn numbers and about such things as the laws of probability, i.e., that it's much easier to get a pair than it is to get a straight flush. As long as the kid isn't partaking in the whiskey and cigars, and as long as Dad isn't scamming the kid out of child support money, what's the harm?

But I do have a problem with gold-diggers of either sex. This lazy schlub wants $30,000 a month?!?! No man with a shred of self-respect would be demanding that. He needs to go out and GET A JOB! And I'd say the same thing if the genders were reversed. Laffoon is a buffoon.

Maybe Anne would have been better off staying a lesbian. After all, Ellen Degeneres didn't try to scam her out of her money when their relationship broke up. Then again, Ellen's financial worth was probably much higher then hers, unlike the leech/estranged husband.