Don't Try This At Home, Boys and Girls

So I'm over on YouTube, just noodling around on the search engine, looking to see what they have in the way of videos by Cracker. I typed "Cracker" into the search block, and got pages and pages of stuff, most of it not Cracker. One video on the first page was intriguing: It was titled "fire cracker butt" and the thumbnail pic showed a monochrome view of a woman's backside with a bottle rocket sticking out. Well, I had to watch it, but of course, it had been flagged as not suitable for minors. So, I had to create a YouTube account with my birth date on it, so I could watch the more adult-themed stuff.

The clip was short, 1:23, and starts with the woman swigging down a glass of wine. "This is how we get women to let us put bottle rockets up their butts," the voice-over notes. The group adjourns outside, the tipsy woman skins her shorts down to mid-thigh and one of her friends puts the bottle rocket in her butt crack. "This may hurt," one of the guys notes, while the other one says, "Are sure you want to do this?" The first guy replies, "Too late now!" and lights the fuse. The bottle rocket sputters, shooting sparks onto the woman's posterior, but it doesn't launch! Uh-oh! And then the thing shrieks and explodes into a fireball, still next to the unfortunate woman's butt. It was, indeed, a Weapon of Ass Destruction. I hope she had health insurance!

Lesson to be learned: Alcohol and fireworks don't mix, no ifs, ands... or butts!