I have come before you today to announce that I am forming an exploratory committee for a run for the office of the President of the United States in 2008.

Hey, with all of those bozos who have already thrown their hats into the ring, I figured that I couldn't be any worse. Even better, I know that I'll agree with all of my own positions on the issues. I've over 35, I'm a native-born American citizen, and I'm smarter than most of the politicians who have already announced their candidacies.

Then again, I'd have to put up with the defeatist idiots in the MSM, and I probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have Helen Thomas pre-decease my inauguration in 2009. And I'd have to put up with the idiots in Congress from Pelosi and Reid to Hagel and Specter.

On second thought, I want nothing to do with the job. And I question the wisdom of allowing anyone who is ambitious enough to want the job to actually have it.