Clyde Reads the News (So You Don't Have To)

Sometimes you read two news stories and you just say, "Hmmmm."

Story #1: Tampa Bay Devil Rays baseball team could change team name for 2007

Seems the new ownership is looking to make as many changes as possible, both on and off the field, to try to improve the perennial last-place team. Which brings us to:

Story #2: Humuhumunukunukuapuaa Dethroned in Hawaii

The Aloha State's official state fish may be in the unemployment line, since its designation back in 1984 was only supposed to be for five years. And if it's willing to relocate?

The Tampa Bay Humuhumunukunukuapuaa? In the name of all that is holy, no! They'd need two lines to get it all across the front of their jerseys!

Elsewhere in the world, Uzbekistan has banned fur-lined underwear as "too sexy." No, really!

Uzbekistan gives fur-lined undies the slip

Authorities [in Uzbekistan], citing the "unbridled fantasy" that the newfangled thermal undergarments could spark if left unchecked, have ordered an immediate halt to sales of men's and women's underwear lined on the inside with animal fur, apparently the brainchild of a local entrepreneur.

Oh, you crazy kinky Uzbeks! If taken to its logical conclusion, it won't be long until the Uzbeks are only allowed to wear scratchy burlap long-johns. That'll teach 'em!

The Uzbeks aren't the only ones with a strong sense of decency, however. From Zimbabwe, we get this story:

Twins detained for loincloth outrage

Zimbabwean twins who became media celebrities for appearing in public wearing nothing but traditional African goatskin loincloths have been detained pending trial for indecent exposure.

The men, Tafadzwanashe and Tapiwanashe Fichani, raised eyebrows last month when they went to an upscale Harare shopping mall clad only in brief loincloths -- leading several shocked shoppers to call the police.

The twins said they were making a statement by appearing in traditional African clothing dating back to pre-colonial times.

I guess that Afro-centric stuff doesn't go over well in Africa. Go figure!