11.25.2007

Book Report, As Promised

I mentioned last week that I'd finally gotten the copy of the book, Into The Wild by Jon Krakauer, that I had reserved at the library. Most of the time when you check out a book that isn't designated a "New Book," you get it for four weeks. However, when a book is popular and has a long list of people waiting for it, then the book gets treated like it's a new book and you only get it for two weeks, as was the case here. Why is it hot? Because the book was made into a movie, which has been playing for a few weeks but is probably still in your local theater. (And the re-issue of the book is currently #59 overall for books on Amazon.com.)

On the cover of the paperback version of the book is a modified version of the Author's Note by Krakauer that prefaces the book:
In April 1992, a young man from a well-to-do family hitchhiked to Alaska and walked alone into the wilderness north of Mt. McKinley. His name was Christopher Johnson McCandless. He had given $25,000 in savings to charity, abandoned his car and most of his possessions, burned all of the cash in his wallet, and invented a whole new life for himself. Four months later, his decomposed body was found by a moose hunter...
That paints the life and fate of Chris McCandless in broad brush strokes, but it's a jumping-off point for the book. Krakauer came into the story when his editor at Outside magazine had him write an article about McCandless, which drew a very strong response from the magazine's readers. Most of it was quite critical of McCandless, saying that his idealistic naivety and his arrogant hubris in not preparing properly for his wilderness adventure cost him his life. There is a certain amount of truth in that characterization, but McCandless was certainly a more complex person than that would have you believe. And as Krakauer explains, his story is unusual but not unique. Other young men have felt the urge to cast off the trappings of bourgeois society, abandon their old lives and head west to seek a new life, to commune more closely with Nature, or to become really, completely free.

Freedom is a complex concept, however, and it is closely linked with security. Indeed, you could draw a continuum between absolute freedom and absolute security, and the lives that most of us live fall somewhere between the two absolutes. Absolute freedom means being beholden to no one, owing nobody anything, being able to get up and leave at any time, to take off and do anything you choose to do. Most of us can't do that: We have mortgages, car payments, apartment leases, utility bills, property tax bills, insurance payments, college loan payments, jobs, families, pets, the mundane web of life that ties us down.

The more security you have, the less freedom you have. The more things you own, the more those things own you. When was the last time that you owed nobody anything and could freely have gone anywhere and done anything you wanted?

McCandless understood this, and wanted to be free rather than secure. He graduated from college at Emory University in Atlanta, with honors, but without owing any money for his education. He felt estranged from his parents, due to certain incidents from his childhood, and wanted nothing more than to be free to seek transcendent experiences in nature. He took on a new name for his travels, Alexander Supertramp, drove west in his old Datsun (whose registration had expired) and sought to live off the land as much as possible. It was a romantic, nomadic existence on the margins of American society. He was not alone there, of course; there were others who had fallen through the cracks and didn't share the bourgeois American dream that most of us have. McCandless was different from most of them in that he had chosen his lifestyle. He was college-educated, after all, and could have gone down the 9-to-5 career path if he had wanted to do so, but he did not.

Absolute freedom, or any close facsimile thereof, is by definition an insecure existence. That kind of freedom means traveling with only what you can carry on your back at a dead run, as McCandless's sister described him. Being a hunter-gatherer is a precarious lifestyle. You don't know where your next meal is coming from, and indeed, you may miss a meal or two, or a whole lot of them. McCandless wasn't the first to starve to death in Alaska. And anyone who has a Disney perception of Nature (capital N) as kind and benevolent is a starry-eyed, naive idealist. Nature is pitiless and cruel, and has no special love for Mankind. That you eat regularly is not due to Nature's kindness, but to the fact that you live in an area where Nature has been tamed, where Mankind has turned the Earth to his own uses. Very few of us have ever set foot in real wilderness, and even fewer of us could survive there for very long.

As Krakauer notes, the fatal mistakes that McCandless made in his final journey into the Alaska wilderness were taking insufficient supplies, not bringing a USGS topographic map (which would have shown him an escape route a few miles away after the raging Teklanika River in summer flood trapped him on the wrong side), and not having sufficient knowledge of the local flora and ending up starving to death from apparent alkaloid poisoning by eating the seeds of the wild potato, which prevented his body from properly digesting food. He had a guidebook which warned against eating wild peas, which looked similar to wild potato seeds, but said nothing specifically about the latter.

There is a little bit of McCandless in most of us, that wants to cast off the fetters of our day-to-day existence, take off running and see what's over the far horizon. Few of us ever do it, of course, just as few people perform highwire acts without a net. If he had lived a little longer, perhaps he would have grown up, matured to the point where he would have returned to become a productive member of society. Then again, a bison running freely across the plain is ill-suited to become an ox in harness. After you've tasted true feedom, can you ever really come back? Most of us will never know.

11.24.2007

As if "Killing the Planet" Wasn't Enough

Wait until Al Gore hears about this! According to some scientists, apparently Mankind is 'shortening the universe's life'. We're not just destroying the Earth through man-made climate change, as the Goracle and his acolytes would have us believe, not even just the solar system or the Milky Way galaxy, but the entire frickin' universe! The whole shebang! Really. Here's their theory, according to the Telegraph:
New Scientist reports a worrying new variant as the cosmologists claim that astronomers may have accidentally nudged the universe closer to its death by observing dark energy, a mysterious anti gravity force which is thought to be speeding up the expansion of the cosmos.

The damaging allegations are made by Profs Lawrence Krauss of Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio, and James Dent of Vanderbilt University, Nashville, who suggest that by making this observation in 1998 we may have caused the cosmos to revert to an earlier state when it was more likely to end. "Incredible as it seems, our detection of the dark energy may have reduced the life-expectancy of the universe," Prof Krauss tells New Scientist.
This really seems to be more a variant on not saying something about how well things are going, because it might jinx things. Sure, we know that's just superstition, but we've all seen it happen: Things are going well, somebody mentions how well things are going and then bad things happen. And it's been going on for a long time. The Norse had their own saying about not jinxing things in the Hávamál:
81. At eve the day is to be praised,
a woman after she is burnt,
a sword after it is proved,
a maid after she is married,
ice after it has passed away,
beer after it is drunk.
A slightly different translation says: "Praise no day until evening, no wife until buried, no sword until tested, no maid until bedded, no ice until crossed, no ale until drunk."

Similarly the scientists are telling us, "Don't look at the dark matter because you might jinx it! Oh, no! Now you've done it! You may have cut the life-span of the universe just by looking at it, you jinx!" Conveniently for the scientists, both the original life expectancy and the unknown shortened life expectancy of the universe are likely in the billions of years. The question is unlikely to be settled until long after the Sun has become a red giant and burned the Earth to a lifeless cinder. They'll never know whether the theory has any validity or not, but it gives them something to feel guilty about.

And although the astronomers seemingly jinxed things for the universe back in 1998 (while Gore was vice president), I have no doubt that the New York Times editorial page and the Democratic National Committee will find some way to blame this on George W. Bush. If they can't, then they just aren't trying hard enough!

Thanksgiving Epilogue

I shared a nice Thanksgiving with my brothers, my niece, my dad and a couple of his friends. We had a nice spread (mostly catered by takeout from Cracker Barrel) of ham, sliced turkey breast with gravy, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, carrots, green bean casserole with crunchy onions on top, cranberry sauce, green salad, cornbread, biscuits, pumpkin pie and lemon meringue pie. I washed mine down with Coke Zero, although the brothers brought along a 12-pack of some micro-brew beer that turned out to be an 11-pack, since one of the bottles was broken and empty.

Here are a few pictures. First, a postprandial group shot of everyone except for my dad: Kurt, Rachel, Clyde, Jeanette, Richard and Karl.



Next, one of Dad and the boys:



Here's one of Rachel and Kurt:



And, finally, one more of just the guys:



My t-shirt is one from my high school, Shawnee Mission North, which both of my brothers also attended and where Rachel is a senior this year. I got it in 1998 at my 20th high school reunion. Kurt tells me that while SMN is still the Indians (the shirt has a big Indian on the back), they use the more politically correct logo on the front of the shirt as the official logo these days. They don't want to "offend" anyone.

Needless to say, nobody went hungry. I blame the tryptophan for what happened later. I said my goodbyes around 3:30 and headed for home to get some sleep, since I had to get up for work at 8:30. Well, I was supposed to get up at that time. In my groggy state, I thought I was hitting the snooze alarm, but I ended up turning the alarm off. I woke up at 10:25, already 25 minutes late for work. I tried to call the office to tell them I was coming in, but nobody would answer the stupid phone, so I just drove on in and called them from a traffic light about 15 minutes before I got there. Oh, well: Shit happens.

Anyway, now it's the weekend, my brothers and niece have returned home, and I'm finally getting caught up on my sleep. It was great having them down here, though. I wish that I could see them more often, but the distances are great.

11.22.2007

Wednesday Recap

Another day of familial fun. I met up with my brothers, niece and dad yesterday morning, and we went to brunch at my dad's ex-wife's condo on the golf course (they are very cordial with each other, just not married any longer). Shirley's mother, who is 90, was also there. She's a really nice lady as well, and fortunately seems very functional for that age. Shirley was having her kitchen remodeled, so while the workmen were in there, we were out on the lanai. It was a perfect fall day in Florida: Sunny, hardly a cloud in the sky, temperature in the low 80s, light breeze. We had a nice brunch, the occasional chemical tang of adhesives in the air notwithstanding.



We had decided to go to Sanibel so that that Rachel and the brothers could look for seashells. Sanibel Island and adjacent Captiva Island are among the best places for shelling in the world, due to the hook shape of the islands that catches shells washing in from the Gulf of Mexico on the tides. We had to make a couple of stops on the way, getting a book at Barnes & Noble that Rachel needed for school, and then hitting the nearby Target store so that Bro' Karl could get a hat. Karl also stocked up on Willy Wonka Bottle Caps candy, which he told us he couldn't find in New York. I was amazed!

"You can find Chinese takeout at 3 a.m. in New York, but you can't find Bottle Caps? Hell, you could probably find Vietnamese takeout at 3 a.m. ... Or Laotian, or Hmong... But no Bottle Caps?" I asked. But apparently, that's the case.

We had a good time laughing at some of the ugly hats in the men's wear section. There was one hideous hat that looked like it was made from recycled scraps from three or four different plaid suits. I told Karl that we could probably find him a World Champion Boston Red Sox cap, but for some reason, he was cool to the idea. I pointed out a gray porkpie hat that looked pretty cool, but in the end, he settled for a brown pinstriped fedora-looking hat.

Also at Target, I saw some Jones Soda, the brand I wrote about the other day. Among the flavors I saw were Candy Cane, Gingerbread Man and Christmas Soda. I also saw a boxed four-pack of pie flavors, including Lemon Meringue Pie soda. I wasn't curious enough to buy them yesterday; perhaps another time, so I can review them here.

Finally, we headed for Sanibel, and spent about an hour on the beach. The weather was perfect. As we drove across the bridge, Rachel got a call from one of her friends in Kansas City, who told her it was snowing there. "And not that wussy snow that doesn't even stick, REALLY snowing!" Rachel tried not to gloat too loudly as she told her friend that it was 86 degrees and sunny here in Florida. When we got to the beach, I soaked up the sun while the rest of the group went looking for shells. They found a few nice ones.

After our beach excursion, we drove back to the mainland and met my dad for a late lunch at Smoky Bones. The food was excellent, as usual. Bro' Kurt, who is from Kansas City, a barbecue haven, paid them a high compliment by noting the the baby back ribs were the best he'd ever had. I had the combo platter with the St. Louis-style ribs and pulled pork, with cole slaw and fries, washed down with a Samuel Adams Winter Lager. Mmmmmmm!

At that point, I was done for the day. It was almost 5:00 p.m. and I'd been up for 20 hours (I worked Tuesday night), so I headed for home and slept the sleep of the blessed... Or the dead... Or the blessedly dead. Take your pick.

Today, it's turkey dinner at Dad's in the early afternoon, and work tonight, then the weekend begins. I have a lot to be thankful for, including a great family and some great friends. For all of my readers, I wish you a happy Thanksgiving Day.

11.20.2007

Tuesday Stuff

I went to the airport this morning to pick up Bro' Karl. His flight was due to arrive from Newark at 10:07, and I timed it to arrive about 20 minutes early. It's a good thing that I did, because his flight arrived 30 minutes early. That was a Continental flight, by the way. He'd paid a visit to the facilities and was just coming up the ramp from the concourse when I arrived. We went down to the baggage claim area and his bag was already there. I was in and out of the airport parking lot in less than 20 minutes, which meant that I didn't have to pay anything!

We all got together with my dad for lunch at Iguana Mia, a local Mexican restaurant that is very good. Highly recommended if you're ever in the Fort Myers-Cape Coral area, since there is an Iguana Mia in both cities. Then Kurt, Karl, Rachel and I went and played a round of miniature golf. I did okay on the front nine, but had back-to-back disastrous scores on the 10th and 11th holes and the game went downhill from there. I was badly out of practice, and a combination of bad play and bad fortune did me in.

Now it's off to bed so I can get up for work in a few hours. I would say that I'm burning the candle at both ends, but there isn't much candle left; it's more like "burning the thin wax disc at both ends." Tomorrow will be a very long day, with a brunch planned, likely followed by a visit to Sanibel Island and then, who knows? I suspect I will crash hard late tomorrow afternoon or early evening, since I don't have to work Wednesday night...

11.19.2007

In Search of Shark's Teeth

When I got over to the condo, I asked what Kurt and Rachel wanted to do today. Rachel wanted to go to the beach and look for shark's teeth. For any knowledgeable Floridian, there was only one possible destination: Venice, about an hour to the north. Fossilized shark's teeth are more common there than anywhere else in Florida. So we got in my car and headed north on I-75.

We got to Venice around 11:00 a.m. and stopped off at the drug store for some cold medicine for Kurt and some water. While we waited at the checkout line, I noticed that the little old lady behind us was wearing a shirt with a monogram for a local civic organization in Venice, so I asked her where the nearest beach was. It turned out that it was just down the road, a few blocks away. We followed her simple directions and found it with no problems.

At that point, the intrepid shark's teeth hunters went to work:



At first, they didn't have a whole lot of luck, but when Kurt started digging holes in the beach sand and sifting through it, they finally found a total of three shark's teeth.

There were other things to be seen at the beach as well. We saw a couple of pelicans and numerous sea gulls. And we saw this luckless jellyfish which had been washed in by the tide:



Just as it is dangerous for us to go too far out into the water, so it is dangerous for sea life to come too close to the shore.

Finally, we saw some things that were just plain weird: A bunch of little clear jelly-looking things that looked an awful lot like miniature silicone breast implants. Here is Kurt holding one of them:



We spent a little over an hour at the beach, then grabbed a quick bite to eat before heading home again. My goal was to be home by 3:00 p.m., and I arrived at 2:55. So far, so good. And now, it's time for some sleep, since I have to work tonight.

Blogging Will Be Light and Late This Week

With family in town, the demands on my time are somewhat heightened. I'll still probably have something to say, but it may be a mid-afternoon thing rather than in the morning. More later; time to go hang out with Bro' Kurt and Rachel.

11.18.2007

Clouded Out

I got up around 3 a.m and went outside to see whether it was worthwhile to do any Leonid meteor shower watching. Unfortunately, the weather was mostly cloudy, with stars peeking through but most of the sky obscured. I went back inside and tried going back to sleep, but found out pretty quickly that I was up for the day.

My family has started arriving for Thanksgiving week. My brother Kurt and his daughter Rachel got here yesterday afternoon. I picked them up at the airport and drove them to Dad's condo, where they'll be staying. We went out to dinner with Dad, and I was spotted at the restaurant by two different people I know. It's a small world out there. My other brother, Karl, will be coming in from New York on Tuesday.

I picked up my reserved copy of the book Into the Wild at the library yesterday. It has been made into a movie which is currently in theaters. I'll have more to say about the book after I finish reading it.

11.16.2007

Insanity

One definition of insanity is repeatedly performing the same action and expecting a different result. Case in point: When I flipped on the TV last night, I caught a bit of "The O'Reillly Factor," and then it went to a commercial for Redacted, the Brian DePalma anti-war agitprop movie that opens soon. Did the movie distribution company learn nothing from the Lions For Lambs debacle last weekend? Fox News Channel viewers are not the target demographic for a movie that trashes America and our troops. Free advice: Try CNN and MSNBC instead. They're more simpatico with your agenda.

Oh, Barry Me Not, Part 2

The Home Run King, Barry Bonds, has been indicted for perjury (four counts)and obstruction of justice (one count) for allegedly lying under oath about knowingly using steroids. The charges could lead to up to thirty years in prison if Bonds is convicted on all counts.

Now, anyone who follows baseball has known for a long time that it was almost certain that Bonds had been using some kind of illegal substances for quite some time. If you're surprised, you haven't been paying attention. And of course, he's not the only one whose statistics raised suspicions that things were not on the up and up.

The parallels with The Hit King, Pete Rose, are strong, but in the case of Rose, it was something that he did after his playing career ended that has led to him being kept out of the Baseball Hall of Fame. (Correction: That is not strictly true. Rose was a player/manager at the time he bet on baseball, so it happened during his playing career.) What Bonds is alleged to have done actually affected what happened on the field. And just as the Feds got Rose for tax evasion rather than gambling, so they're going after Bonds for lying under oath rather than his actions.

Maybe the Hall of Fame needs to open up a special Wing of Infamy for Rose (and Bonds, if he is convicted). Their accomplishments on the field should not be ignored, even if in the case of Bonds they were somewhat tainted, but they need to be placed in their proper context: Men whose conduct brought shame upon themselves. And anyone else with Hall-worthy stats who is found to have used steroids should go in the same Wing of Infamy.

Update: One further thought: How difficult will it be for the federal government to get a conviction from a San Francisco jury? Sure, the Feds may have a good case, but if he gets a sympathetic jury, they may let him off anyway, as happened with O.J. Simpson in his murder trial, evidence or not.

11.15.2007

More Odd News Stuff

Dong Unhappy About Censored Sex Scenes

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but this story wouldn't be half as funny if the guy's name was different.

Censors sued for cut steamy sex scenes

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese moviegoer is suing China's film watchdog in frustration with the censored version of Ang Lee's steamy World War Two drama "Lust, Caution," Beijing media reported Wednesday.

Dong Yanbin, a Ph.D student at the China University of Political Science and Law in Beijing, had filed a suit against the nation's film censor, the State Administration of Radio Film and Television (SARFT), for infringing upon his "consumer rights," the Beijing Times said.

"I felt greatly disappointed after seeing the movie," the paper quoted Dong as saying.

******************************************
How About 'None of the Above'?
I don't want to see ANY male politician nude, and only two female politicians come quickly to mind, neither of whom I want to see in the raw. While House Speaker Nancy Pelosi may have had her face lifted, I suspect that everything under the clothes is saggy and wrinkly. Ugh. And as for Senator Clinton: I don't even want to see her cankles, much less her CENSORED. Now, Dennis Kucinich's wife is another matter entirely.

MELBOURNE (Reuters) - More Australian voters would like to see Labor Opposition leader Kevin Rudd naked than their current prime minister, John Howard, a poll showed on Sunday just two weeks out from a hard-fought general election.

The question was posed in a Galaxy poll of 1,200 voters and published in Zoo magazine, the Australian Associated Press reported.

"No one wants a prime minister who doesn't look good naked," Zoo editor Paul Merrill was quoted as saying.

11.11.2007

Kosher Ham Soda?

Believe it or not, that's one of the flavors that the Jones Soda Co. is putting into their holiday packs. The Christmas pack will contain flavors like Sugar Plum, Christmas Tree, Egg Nog and Christmas Ham, while the Hanukkah pack will have Jelly Doughnut, Applesauce, Christmas Coins and Latkes flavors. Christmas Tree soda? You know, there are some things that smell nice but would taste bad, and I think that Christmas trees are among them. These are definitely novelty products that will only generate niche sales.

In a related news item, Robert Redford's anti-war agitprop movie Lions For Lambs tanked badly at the box office this weekend, bringing in a disappointing estimated $6.7 million and coming in fourth, far behind Bee Movie, American Gangsters and Fred Claus. They probably spent that much just on commercials on Fox News Channel alone, promoting the movie to a mostly-conservative audience that wasn't going to go see it anyway.

So what do weird soda flavors and unsuccessful anti-war propaganda films have in common? They're both the result of people deciding that they are going to make a certain type of product because they think it is the "right thing to do," and they don't seem to care whether anyone wants to buy their product or not. It's an arrogant mindset: "I know what's good for you, so I'm going to sell it to you whether you want it or not."

At least the Jones Soda Co. has root beer and strawberry flavors that the public likes to fall back on. They're a small company and they'll still make a profit. Liberal Hollywood moviemakers, however, have lost a ton of money on movies like In the Valley of Elah, The Kingdom and Rendition, and apparently with Lions For Lambs as well. There is more of the same coming down the pike, and films like Brian DePalma's Redacted are almost certain to do just as poorly. Why? Because, as this post by J.D. Johannes points out, these movies all violate the hero narrative:

Despite spend several million dollars on advertising and marketing, 'Lions for Lambs' will flop--just like 'Rendition' & and 'Valley of Elah.'

They will flop because the human psyche, especially the American variety, prefers real heroes--like the original hero of the Valley of Elah, a young shepherd named David who killed Goliath then cut off the giant's head.

In the latest round of war movies the heroes are not the Soldiers and Marines who every day fight and defeat a vicious and barbaric enemy--the heroes are reporters, lawyers and activists.

And since every story requires a villain, the real enemy--Mohammedan Jihadists--are replaced by neo-cons, politicians, Soldiers and Marines.

Exactly. You can fool some of the people all of the time, but not enough of them to make a box office profit. Ham soda and ham-handed anti-war movies are both examples of what happens when people forget that they are in business to make a profit, and to do that, you have to sell the customers something that they want to buy. Most Americans aren't buying what they're trying to sell us.

11.09.2007

Eighteen Years Ago...

The Berlin Wall came down. I lived in West Berlin from May 1985 to January 1989. The Berlin Wall had existed since I was a toddler, and it seemed as permanent as, well, the Soviet Union. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Here is my piece of the Berlin Wall:



It came from the Lichterfelde district in the American Sector, in the south part of the city. That was the district where I lived, coincidentally enough. I got it from a local radio station in early 1990, when I called in to reminisce about my time in the divided city. It's a little chunk of concrete the size of a small piece of fudge.

11.07.2007

Why Do You Think They Call It 'Dope'?

Okay, boys and girls, what's wrong with this story (via AP)?

Marijuana puffer makes it easy for cops

DANBURY — A Brookfield man faces drug charges after he allegedly walked into the Danbury police station puffing on a marijuana-filled cigar.

Capt. Robert Myles says Scott Snow walked into the station early Saturday and blew smoke from his cigar into a small opening in the bullet-resistant glass separating desk officers from the public.

Myles says the 24-year-old man was told there's no smoking inside the building and he allegedly stubbed out the cigar on the counter.

Officers came out and smelled the distinctive odor of marijuana and arrested Snow.

Police say they found more alleged marijuana in Snow's pants.

He has been released after posting bond.

Say what you will about whether or not marijuana should be legalized, but there's no denying that it certainly didn't help Mr. Snow's judgment in this case. I'm wondering if one of his doper buddies dared him to do it. ("Dude, I totally dare you to go into the police station and blow smoke through their window!" "Dude, you're on!")

As for my question, "What's wrong with this story?" the answer is that it would have been appropriate for Mr. Snow to get busted with marijuana if his last name was Grass or Weed or Stoner. But for a guy named Snow? Coke is it! Wrong drug, Mr. Snow! Back to remedial drug training with you!

11.06.2007

Something Doesn't Add Up

Okay, Blogger was telling me that I'd posted 499 posts prior to the last one. However, when I tallied up the number of posts in the archives, it only added up to 469. Where are the other 31 posts? Are those perhaps posts that Blogger ate before I could get them completed, to the sound of wailing and gnashing of teeth? It has a propensity for doing that, after all. Maybe they're drafts that got saved but never posted. I don't know. All I know is that there is a major discrepancy.

Maybe it's like the shift from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar, when they lost a number of days as the calendar skipped ahead. Or maybe it's like the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. The world may never know.

Milestone Post

This is my 500th post on Recycled Sip, going back over the past three years. Rather than just toss out some throwaway oddball news item, I'll take on a more serious subject.

Last night at work, I was thinking about the situation in Pakistan, and why Islamic societies like Pakistan and Iraq may be stony ground on which to sow the seeds of democracy. I'm currently reading David Hackett Fischer's Albion's Seed: Four British Folkways in America, a book about how four different waves of immigration from four different parts of Great Britain have shaped American society, both in the aggregate and in its regional variations. I was thinking about that, and about how some of the most successful democratic societies in the world were all founded by English speakers, largely because they brought with them from the mother country a history of self-government and cultural values that made the government work for the people. From the United States and Canada in North America to Australia and New Zealand in the south Pacific, and even to some extent in India (which was colonized by the British up until Indian independence and partition in 1947), certain ideas are shared about the proper relationship between the government and the people.

The details may vary from country to country, but the common concepts that are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution, such as individual rights and freedoms which are inherent to the people, the rule of law, and limited governmental powers which are granted by the people to the government, are present in all of them. I don't think we realize how unusual, and indeed, how radical such concepts are compared to most of the rest of the world. We have several hundred years of this British heritage as our birthright, and it has shaped us in subtle ways that we often don't even realize.

But why is India a comparative success story, the world's largest democracy, while neighboring Pakistan has frequently lived under military dictatorships? After all, for two centuries, they were one country under the benign dominion of the British Empire. Is it just the fact that India is primarily Hindu, while Pakistan was explicitly founded as an Islamic republic? Is religion more of a central fact of life in Pakistan than it is in India, and does that religion act in ways that are contrary to the development of a democratic civil society? Or are other cultural values, such as tribalism and a greater tolerance (indeed, an expectation) of corruption, the real problem?

Lots of questions, and I have no real answers for them. Just thinking out loud here...

11.05.2007

NBC's Global Warming Silliness

This morning's NBC "Today" show is being broadcast from "the Ends of the Earth," as their graphic puts it. They have reporters in the Arctic Circle, at the Equator and in Antarctica, as well as studio anchor Meredith Viera, who just had a gushing interview with the Goracle, former veep and Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore, who was in London. If interviews were fellatio, she would have had a Lewinsky-stain on her blouse. It was that bad.

It's all about the "climate change crisis," as the Goracle has proclaimed it. Last night, they did the NBC Sunday night football pre-game, halftime and post-game shows by candle light, from what I heard (I didn't see the game, but I heard about it). Now they've flown reporters literally to the ends of the Earth, at an unknown and unmentioned cost in added carbon dioxide emissions from the planes flying their crews all of those thousands of miles. I think we can be pretty sure that they've bought some kind of carbon offset credits, the 21st Century equivalent of papal indulgences. And NBC's prime time programming this week will be preaching the environmental gospel according to St. Albert all week long, and so will affiliated cable channels like Bravo and Sundance Channel. Heresy will not be tolerated.

Viera asked Gore about the scientist who wrote an op-ed questioning whether it had been proved that the warming climate has been caused by Man, and Gore's reply: "He's an outlier." Gore went on to say that some people still think that the Earth is flat, but nobody seeks them out for scientific arguments. He said that it's wrong to have a point-counterpoint type argument about global warming when "everyone knows" that it's happening and that Mankind is to blame. I guess "outlier" is better than "out-and-out liar," which is what Gore seemed to be thinking.

11.04.2007

Football Stuff

Two subjects today, including "Super Bowl XLI-I/II."

First, though, another Sign of the Apocalypse: The undefeated 9-0 Kansas Jayhawks football team (I never thought I'd read THAT in my lifetime!) annihilated the Nebraska Cornhuskers yesterday, 76-39. As the story notes, Nebraska had won 37 of the last 38 games between the two teams, and between 1971-2000, the average score was 47-7. When I was growing up, both Kansas and Kansas State perennially sucked at football, while Big Eight (now Big Twelve) conference rivals Nebraska and Oklahoma, which sandwiched the state on either side, would beat the woeful Sunflower State teams like a drum. The Jayhawks usually had a great basketball team, though, so there would often be some payback later in the year.

This year, though, Nebraska has fallen on hard times, and the Jayhawks were 20-point favorites going into the game! It must be rough for the people in Nebraska, because really, what do they have there except for college football? They eat it, breathe it, live it up there. On fall Saturdays, everything is red and white. Without a good football team, they might as well be South Dakota. But remembering all of the beatings they inflicted on us, I have a hard time mustering any sympathy for them. In fact, I'll pile on by telling a Nebraska joke:

Q: What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?
A: Nowledge.

Yeah, I'm enjoying it!

Next, today's titanic match-up between the New England Patriots (8-0) and the Indianapolis Colts (7-0), the latest in the season that two unbeaten teams have ever met. The Pats are a 6-point favorite, even on the road, because they've been beating teams this year the way that Nebraska used to beat Kansas.

Bill Belichick of the Patriots is the kind of coach that you only like if he's leading your team. He's gotten some criticism for running up the score on opponents in recent weeks. He's the kind of coach who leaves his first-string offense in the game in the fourth quarter despite having a 40-point lead, and while I really don't like seeing players get hurt, in a situation like that, if it were to happen, I'd think that they'd deserve it. With a big lead, you should pull your starters so they don't get injured and let the backups get some playing time. Tony Dungy, by contrast, is a genuinely nice guy. These are clearly the top two teams in the NFL, and the winner of the game will be the clear favorite to nail down home field advantage in the playoffs. I hope the Colts win.

Finally, a bonus non-football topic: What is it with these Peterson people? We had Laci Peterson murdered by her husband Scott a few years back, and now in suburban Chicago a young woman named Stacy Peterson has gone missing and her cop husband Drew is under suspicion, and in Mexico, cops just arrested a 25-year-old female middle school teacher from Nebraska named Kelsey Peterson, who had run off with a 13-year-old male student after people became suspicious of their sexual relationship. On the plus side, she didn't have to watch the Cornhuskers get walloped by the Jayhawks.

See? Everything IS related!

11.01.2007

There Is Nothing New Under the Sun

We've known for a long time that the moguls in Hollywood are mostly risk averse, preferring to green-light projects that are remakes of popular movies and television shows from the past, or sequels to them. After all, if people liked it in the past, they'll probably like it now.

There are a couple of good examples coming down the pike: Fox's television show Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles, which is coming in mid-January, and the soon-to-be-released movie I Am Legend, starring Will Smith as Robert Neville, which is a remake of the cult movie The Omega Man (1971) which starred Charlton Heston, which was a remake of the 1964 horror movie The Last Man On Earth, which starred Vincent Price. All of those were based on Richard Matheson's 1954 novel I Am Legend.

The Sarah Conner Chronicles will at least have the possible virtue of new content, even if none of the actors is the same as the movie trilogy. I Am Legend looks to be strictly a remake, with the location moved from Los Angeles to New York and with the Robert Neville character going from white to black.

I have mixed feelings about the latter, much as I did when The Honeymooners movie did the same thing to Ralph Kramden, et. al., and when the 2003 television remake of Battlestar Galactica did a sex change on the Starbuck role and turned him into a woman. Jackie Gleason was iconic as Kramden, and similarly, Heston's version of Neville is the definitive one. It just didn't seem right to me. Perhaps in cases like that, you have to make the actor as different as possible from the original, in an attempt to stake out another version of the show that will catch the audience's attention and make them forget about the previous version, at least temporarily. It's great that minority actors are cast in lead roles these days without anyone blinking an eye. Still...

Perhaps for the under-30 set who have never seen The Omega Man, this will become the definitive version. Those of us who are old enough to remember 1971, however, will always remember Charlton Heston as well.

10.31.2007

When the Tax Is On the Punkin', In the Corn State It's A Shock

Weird news, weird news. Topical for today, this story from Iowa: Tax Law: Are You Eating Those Pumpkins?

DES MOINES, Iowa - The Iowa Department of Revenue is taxing jack-o'-lanterns this Halloween. The new department policy was implemented after officials decided that pumpkins are used primarily for Halloween decorations, not food, and should be taxed, said Renee Mulvey, the department's spokeswoman.

"We made the change because we wanted the sales tax law to match what we thought the predominant use was," Mulvey said. "We thought the predominant use was for decorations or jack-o'-lanterns."

Previously, pumpkins had been considered an edible squash and exempted from the tax. The department ruled this year that pumpkins are taxable - with some exceptions - if they are advertised for use as jack-'o-lanterns or decorations.

Iowans planning to eat pumpkins can still get a tax exemption if they fill out a form.

Question: Will Iowa tax peppermint candy canes in December? After all, most people will be using them to decorate Christmas trees. (Yes, on this blog, they are still called "Christmas trees," not "holiday trees," political correctness be damned!) Sure, they'll eat them afterwards, but the candy canes are still primarily for decorative purposes.

Filling out a form to get small change back (six cents on the dollar for whatever the pumpkin cost) would undoubtedly be too much effort for the average Iowan, which is probably what the bureaucrats are hoping for. The cost of the postage to send in the form for a tax refund would probably be more than they would get back, so what's the point? But personally, I'd love to see each and every person who is charged that sales tax turn around and fill one of those forms out and send it in, just on general principles. The rules say that you're not supposed to tax food. And folks,

this is food.

10.28.2007

Minorities, Spammers To Be Hardest Hit

At least, that's how I'd read this story in the Daily Mail: Human race will 'split into two different species'
The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

"Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.

Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone.

If the men will all be well-hung and the women will all be stacked, what will the poor spammers do? To whom will they hawk pills to enlarge those body parts?

And if everybody will be "coffee-coloured", then everyone will be a minority and nobody will have grounds for affirmative action preferences. Who will be our future Jesse Jacksons and Al Sharptons?

My problem with the whole theory is that it assumes that beautiful women seek to marry handsome men. However, the evidence outside of Hollywood is that beautiful women often seek to marry wealthy, powerful men, who may or may not be physically attractive. Look at the late Anna Nicole Smith, for instance. Or any of the women hanging around Hugh Hefner, for that matter. Wealth and power are a powerful aphrodisiac.

10.26.2007

Goin' Fishin'

The National Football League is doing its best to undermine our international relations with Great Britain, sending the woeful 0-7 Miami Dolphins to London to play a regular season game on Sunday against the New York Giants. For most Floridians, that's not far enough! Perhaps playing the game in Beijing, 13 time zones ahead and starting at 2 a.m., would be better. Then there would be less chance of turning on the television and accidentally seeing the game.

I don't understand the logic of playing a regular season game that actually counts in a foreign country. Preseason exhibition games? Fine, no problem. But there are only eight regular season home games during an NFL season, and the Dolphins gave up one of them for this game to be played in London. Sure, they suck this year, but there's a principle here: You don't stiff your home fans by taking away a regular season game and traveling a few thousand miles to play it on the road.

Sure, Major League Baseball does it too. They've had some teams open up with a three-game series in Japan in recent years, but still, that's only about 1/27th of a team's home schedule. Each game in the NFL is far more important because they only play 1/10th as many games as MLB does.

You know that the stadium in London will probably be only half-full at best; after all, what they call "football" in England is played with a round, black-and-white ball. A third-tier soccer game would probably draw a larger crowd.

10.25.2007

President Colbert?

What does it say about the mood of the American people when comedian Stephen Colbert's satirical presidential campaign polls in the double digits? According to Rasmussen Reports, in a hypothetical three-way race between Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani and Colbert, the comedian draws 13% of the vote. If the match-up is Clinton, Fred Thompson and Colbert, then Colbert gets 12% He's a distant third in both match-ups, but then, he's only been in the race for one week. Perhaps Colbertmania is just beginning to surge.

And among the 18-29 age group that is more likely to watch Colbert's show on Comedy Central, he gets 28% of the vote in the match-up involving Giuliani, and 31% of the vote in one involving Thompson, more than either Republican candidate does among that age group, according to Rasmussen.

Now maybe the people being polled just decided to pull the pollster's leg. And without a real party apparatus behind him, Colbert has no chance of being elected. Still, it seems to me that this shows that there is a sizable portion of the electorate that would pull the lever for "None of the Above," given the choices that seem to be available.

10.24.2007

Some Days...

It just doesn't pay to put on the Homer Simpson t-shirt.

I had a book that was a couple of days overdue at the library. In a case like that, I normally wait until I have to make a trip into town; the small fine is cheaper than the cost of gasoline to make a special trip. So, today it was time to go grocery shopping, and I grabbed the book on the way out the door. It was only a little farther out of the way to go to the library and then double back to the store.

Well, I had a stack of books by the computer, and I had moved the overdue book to the top of the stack. I got to the library, pulled the printed-out slip out (I use them as bookmarks) and put the book into the night depository, since the library didn't open for another half-hour. It was only as the book left my hand that I realized I had grabbed the wrong book! I had just returned the book I was reading, William Gibson's Spook Country, which I had just gotten on Saturday. Sure enough, when I checked the slip, there it was. I swore and barely resisted the impulse to thwack myself on the forehead. Meanwhile, the book that was overdue was still sitting in my computer chair at home, and if I want to read Spook Country, I'll have to go through the whole rigmarole of putting a hold on it and waiting for several more weeks to get it again.

D'oh!

10.23.2007

The REAL Outrage

Fox News has been showing a clip this morning of some of the Democrat presidential candidates at some sort of outdoor event, with the national anthem being sung in the background. Bill Richardson and Hillary Clinton are standing with their right hands over their hearts, as they should. Barack Obama, however, is standing with his hands folded over his crotch. Combined with his recent "I'm not going to wear a flag pin on my lapel" flap, Fox News wants to know if people think this is outrageous or not.

While it was improper protocol (and anyone who wants to be president had damn well better know protocol), the REAL outrage was the horrific version of the national anthem in the background. It was "sung" by one of those artiste types who screech and warble and couldn't hit a note cleanly to save her life. She actually made Hillary Clinton's singing sound good! Yeah, she was THAT bad!

Gov. Richardson and Sen. Clinton: One thumb up for knowing what they were doing. Sen. Obama: One thumb down for NOT knowing what he was doing. For the "singer": Two thumbs way down and a ball-gag. Go and sin(g) no more, honey.

Yeah, that's one of my pet peeves. It's a tough enough song to sing without intentionally botching it up by thinking it's a scat number. It ain't "The Star-Spangled Bebop." Just sing it like it's written!

World Series

Well, my Phillies vs. Indians pick at the beginning of the month didn't quite pan out. I live in the area where the Red Sox train in the spring, and I've been to both Red Sox spring training games and a few games at Fenway Park a couple of decades ago, but I'm going to have to root for the Rockies, just because it's such a great story.

Tomorrow night we'll find out whether the eight-day layoff will have any effect on the Rockies. They'll certainly be well-rested, and anyone who was banged up will have had plenty of time to heal.

I'm sure that the Fox network is happy that the Red Sox are in the Series rather than the Indians, since Boston is a bigger market and perhaps might draw better ratings.

Girl Power

A couple of stories about empowered women:

First, women protesting against the brutal regime in Myanmar (Burma) are sending their panties to their local Myanmar embassies. Seems that in Burma, it's a "culturally insulting" gesture, because some of the local men, including junta leader General Than Shwe, believe that touching a woman's underwear will sap their power. Protest group Lanna Action for Burma is trying to make them lose their mojo. "Panty-gram for the tyrant!"

Second, when the shuttle Discovery goes up this morning, weather permitting, both the commander of the shuttle and the commander of the International Space Station will be women. This will be the first time that has occurred.

10.22.2007

They Only Come Out At Night

On DirecTV, the really bizarre stuff comes out after midnight. Not just the "adult"-themed programming on the pay movie channels like Skinemax, but even on more mainstream channels like the music video channel Fuse. This morning, I was surfing and found that Fuse had a show on called "Pants-Off Dance-Off." And it's about what you would expect from that title: Five amateurs (of both sexes) stripping down and dancing with a music video in the background, complete with trash-talking both from the "professional" dancer judges and the other competitors. No nudity is shown; after a certain point, the show's logo pops up and blocks strategic areas of the screen. However, the show pimps its web site, where it promises viewers the Full Monty. Some people will do anything for their 15 minutes of fame.

Then there is the Shop Erotic channel, where two attractive women show a variety of sex toys and describe their various features. Interestingly, they have two different phone lines for customers to order their products: One for men and one for women, who no doubt are more comfortable talking with a female customer service representative when ordering that sort of thing. There are a surprising variety of products available, and they range from inexpensive to pricey: Some of them run up around a couple of hundred dollars. This show goes off the air around 4 or 5 a.m.

The most bizarre thing I saw over the weekend was down in the 100s, a channel called IAC which is basically for advertising. Right now, it's running a promo for "The All-New 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan," but earlier it had some kind of an "Ultimate Dirty Movie" film/Axe body gel tie-in involving David Spade, where people uploaded clips of themselves rolling around wrestling in mud, teeter-tottering in green paint, and in one case, having a guy fall over in the kitchen and spill milk all over himself and two women in cat costumes then licked the milk off his shirt. There were perhaps five or six of these uploaded clips. Very, very weird stuff. Probably almost as weird as Dodge thinking anyone is going to watch their infomercial.

10.21.2007

Thoughts on Stuff I Didn't Blog Last Week

I'm on vacation and in slacker mode. Plus Blogger has been uncooperative on the few occasions when I felt like blogging something. Blogging is likely to continue to be light for the rest of the month. Here's the stuff I didn't write about.

The Flaming Pope: Perhaps you saw the news story last week with the picture of a bonfire, with the flames resembling the late John Paul II. Some called it a miracle; I suspected Photoshop.

Chocolate Jesus returns: Fox News was running this story about the return of the life-sized anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus, which the artist is going to exhibit at an art gallery in New York. My take: It's like when you shop on Amazon.com, and they make a recommendation that says "Better Together," about two related items that can be purchased at the same time. Flaming Pope and Chocolate Jesus: Better Together, with the end result a melted chocolate puddle.

Benazir Bhutto's explosive return to Pakistan: What were they thinking?! She's going to drive in a motorcade for hours through the densely crowded streets of a city of 15 million people, which is chock-full of Muslim extremists. She's gotten death threats from Al-Qaeda and the local Muslim terrorist groups. And she thinks she's going to be able to just ride through the streets and NOT have suicide bombers try to blow her up?! So they ended up with over 130 people dead and hundreds more injured. The only good news is that this is likely to make the Pakistani government become a bit more serious about dealing with the extremists in their midst. Good luck to them; they'll need it.

Joe Torre and the Yankees: The Yankees made their former manager an offer he could refuse, with a lower base salary and up to $3 million in incentives. Torre rightly saw this as an insulting offer, one that showed that the Yankees management brain trust didn't really want him back, despite the fact that the Yankees made the playoffs every year for the past twelve years and won four World Series championships under Torre. Of course, those World Series wins were all back in the 1990s, and the expectation in New York is that the Yankees should have won the World Series twelve times in those twelve years. It's an impossible situation for whoever the Yankees hire to replace Torre: The Yankees will spend a ton of money on the best players that they can get, and the expectation will be that the new manager will win, or else. Contrast that with Trey Hillman, who was just hired by the Kansas City Royals, a team that hasn't been to the playoffs at all since winning the World Series in 1985. No pressure there.

Orionids meteor shower this morning: You can't see meteors when it's raining. Maybe I'll have better luck with the Leonids next month.

10.12.2007

A Gut Feeling About Chocolate

An interesting story in the science news: Scientists Explain Chocolate Cravings

WASHINGTON - If that craving for chocolate sometimes feels like it is coming from deep in your gut, that's because maybe it is.

A small study links the type of bacteria living in people's digestive system to a desire for chocolate. Everyone has a vast community of microbes in their guts. But people who crave daily chocolate show signs of having different colonies of bacteria than people who are immune to chocolate's allure.

That may be the case for other foods, too. The idea could eventually lead to treating some types of obesity by changing the composition of the trillions of bacteria occupying the intestines and stomach, said Sunil Kochhar, co-author of the study. It appears Friday in the peer-reviewed Journal of Proteome Research.

Yes, the bacteria in your digestive tract are making your food choices for you. The microbes don't want macrobiotic; oh, no, they want pizza and beer, and lots and lots of chocolate. There was a show of little bacterial hands, and that's the choices they made. They nixed the eggplant and limberger cheese casserole, though. And perhaps you should thank them for that.

The story notes that they had trouble finding eleven men who don't each chocolate at all. One wonders how much more difficult it would have been to find eleven women who never eat chocolate.

10.09.2007

She Can Run, But She Can't Hide

Over the weekend, we've watched the denouement of the Marion Jones story, as she pleaded guilty to lying to federal investigators regarding her taking steroids prior to the 2000 Sydney Olympics. She has now returned the medals that she won at that Olympics and has been stripped of the victories. She's looking at jail time. She has gone from being a national heroine to being a poster child for cheaters who will do anything to win, including risking their health by taking dangerous and illegal performance-enhancing drugs.

She's not alone, of course. Other athletes like cyclist Floyd Landis have recently had the same thing happen, and there are numerous baseball players under a cloud of suspicion, including current career home run leader* Barry Bonds and former slugger Mark McGwire, who was denied entrance to the Baseball Hall of Fame in his initial year of eligibility. These athletes, and a host of others, all share one thing in common: They believed that they were so clever that they wouldn't get caught. It turned out that they weren't half as clever as they thought they were.

Americans don't like cheaters and liars. When these athletes cheated and told us that they weren't using performance-enhancing drugs, they lied to us. They set a bad example for our children. They let us down. And when you saw Marion Jones giving her mea culpa over the weekend, you could tell that she knew that she had let us all down.

Say it ain't so, Marion. Say it ain't so, Floyd and Barry and Mark.

I'm sorry, kid. I'm afraid it is.

10.08.2007

Places You'd Probably Already Be Dead

The CIA World Factbook is quite informative, and will tell you just about anything you want to know about every country in the world. One page I found interesting was a ranking of average life expectancies for all of the world's 222 countries. I found out that actuarially speaking, I'd already be toast if I lived in any of the 18 countries at the bottom of the rankings, ranging from Nigeria (47.44 years) all the way down to the downright lethal Swaziland (32.23 years). 17 of the 18 countries in that group are in Africa; the sole exception is Afghanistan at #209 (43.77 years). Most of those African nations have high death rates from AIDS, which skews their numbers way down.

If you're curious, the United States ranks at #45, with an average life expectancy of 78.00 years. The place you'd live the longest? The tiny principality of Andorra (pop. 71,822), with an average life expectancy of 83.52 years. Must be that clear mountain air...

10.03.2007

Playoff Picks

The Major League Baseball wild card series start today, and they offer some interesting story lines. None of the four teams that made the League Championship Series last year made it back this year, so we're guaranteed new champions in both leagues and in the World Series. All four American League teams have better records than the four teams from the National League, and the AL will have the home field advantage in the World Series. However, my hunch is that the winner of the Colorado-Philadelphia series may just run the table. The Rockies have won 14 of their last 15 games; you can't get much hotter than that. The Phillies made up a 7-game deficit as of September 12th and stunned the choking New York Mets by winning the NL East on the last day of the season. Whichever team wins that matchup will have a whole lot of momentum.

My picks: Philadelphia and the Chicago Cubs in the NL, the Boston Red Sox and the Cleveland Indians in the AL, the Phillies and the Indians winning their respective League Championship Series, and then the Phillies beating the Indians in the World Series.

Note that the only team that is returning to the postseason field this year is the New York Yankees, the AL wild card team. No other team has as much postseason experience, but not all of that experience has been good in recent years. The key player is Alex Rodriguez, who has not played well in the playoffs. If A-Rod has a good series against Cleveland, the Yankees could be the team to beat.

10.01.2007

In the News

You can take the Mao out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the Mao: China bans bra, underwear, sex toy ads

Really. It made me think of the old Chinese propaganda posters from the Cultural Revolution. Via this site, I found the perfect poster:



My caption: "Fight the social pollution of the capitalist running dogs and their lingerie and sex toy ads!"

9.27.2007

Zeroing Susanna

I finally had to take steps.

When one CD takes up nine slots on the Top 25 Most Played playlist, and the other songs on the CD are tied for the bottom slot, and ready to force other songs off the list the next time the CD is played, well, it's time to do something. That was what was happening on my iPod.

With all tracks having play counts between 37 and 41, Susanna Hoffs' 1991 solo album When You're A Boy has now been declared the grand champion, and the play counts for the album have all been reset to zero. Yeah, I love that album to death, but if I want to listen to it, I can just select it in its entirety (which I frequently do). It defeats the purpose of having a Top 25 playlist when one album shoulders its way onto the list.

9.25.2007

You Go, Girls!

I just love this story from Saudi Arabia: Saudi Religious Police Attacked by Girls

Dammam, Asharq Al-Awsat- Members of Khobar's Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice were the victims of an attack by two Saudi females, Asharq Al-Awsat can reveal.

According to the head of the commission in Khobar, two girls pepper sprayed members of the commission after they had tried to offer them advice.

Head of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice in the Eastern province Dr. Mohamed bin Marshood al-Marshood, told Asharq Al Awsat that two of the Commission's employees were verbally insulted and attacked by two inappropriately-dressed females, in the old market in Prince Bandar street, an area usually crowded with shoppers during the month of Ramadan.

According to Dr. Al-Marshood, the two commission members approached the girls in order to "politely" advise and guide them regarding their inappropriate clothing.

Consequently, the two girls started verbally abusing the commission members, which then lead to one of the girls pepper-spraying them in the face as the other girl filmed the incident on her mobile phone, while continuing to hurl insults at them.

The Eastern Province's head of the commission also revealed that with the help of the police his two employees were able to control the situation.

The two females were then escorted to the police station where they apologized for the attack, were cautioned and then released.

You might have seen the story a few years ago about the horrific fire at a Saudi school for girls, where the panicked girls ran from the school without their abayas, which cover the body from head to toe. The Saudi religious police chased the girls back into the burning school to burn to death rather than allow them to come out "inappropriately dressed." Fifteen girls died in that fire.

So I say, "You go, girls!" I have no sympathy at all for the Saudi religious police, whose usual model of "politely giving advice" involves beating the women with sticks. Too bad that the girls didn't have Tasers, too.

I read a comment elsewhere where someone noted that these two probably were comparatively privileged Saudi women, the sort who push their Indonesian maids down the stairs. Given the fact that they were just issued warnings at the police station and released, that isn't too unlikely. But having to choose between possible "princesses" and theocratic thugs, I'll take the "princesses" every time.

9.23.2007

" "

In the news, French mime Marcel Marceau died yesterday at age 84. The linked article notes one of my favorite factoids about him: He had the only speaking line in Mel Brooks' Silent Movie, which was perfect. And the only appropriate comment on his passing is the one in this post's title.

Au revoir, Marcel.

9.22.2007

Another Idiot Named Simpson

And no, it's neither Homer nor O.J. It's an MIT student named Star Simpson, who decided it would be a brilliant idea to wear a shirt with what appeared to be an explosive device on the front of it -- to the Boston airport! Needless to say, she was arrested and charged with possessing a hoax device. She claims that it was "art." I wonder if she would find prison bars to be similarly "artistic."

She's not the only college idiot this week, of course. She still has a long way to go to top Andrew "Don't Tase Me, Bro'!" Meyer from the University of Florida, who was tasered at the John Kerry forum in Gainesville the other day, for yammering on after he overstayed his welcome at the microphone, and then resisting arrest when the campus cops tried to escort him out. Although Simpson's charges probably were more serious, Taser Boy still takes the prize as the most arrogant, self-absorbed jerk of the week -- and he had to beat out the subject of the forum to do so, which was no easy feat.

9.19.2007

The New iPods: Nano or Nono?

Apple unveiled their latest versions of the iPod last week. One of them, the iPod Touch, looks pretty cool. It appears to have some of the same features and controls as the iPhone, and allows users to download new songs from iTunes via wi-fi. It also has technology that senses whether it is being held vertically or horizonally, and it will automatically switch the orientation of pictures as it moves.

I was less impressed with the latest version of the iPod Nano, which now is shorter and wider and plays video. The main problem is that the Nano still only has either 4 GB or 8 GB of memory (and part of that is taken up by the operating system), and since video files are much larger than music files, that's just not enough memory. The main difference between the "classic" iPod and the Nano is that the Nano uses flash memory, and thus has no moving parts, while the "classic" iPod has a hard drive, which does have moving parts and thus is more sensitive to being dropped, etc. Because flash memory is so much more expensive, the costs are roughly the same, but the "classic" iPod has several times more memory at the same price point (and also is bigger and weighs more; life is full of little trade-offs).

I think in this case, Apple has misinterpreted what the Nano customer wants. In my case, I have no desire to watch videos on a dinky little screen. I want a light-weight, durable music player with good battery life, that allows me to carry around a lot of music in my pocket at work. The Nano I bought last year was perfect for that purpose, although I would have been happier with 16 GB rather than 8 GB. The new Nano doesn't offer more memory, but does have a bigger footprint. I don't know how much more it weighs; probably not a whole lot. But there's nothing there that makes me want to get one of the new Nanos. Now, if they'd come out with one like the old ones, but with 16 GB of memory, I'd be more interested.

Arrrrr, Matey!

Shiver me timbers, it's that magical time of year again: It's Talk Like A Pirate Day, me buccos!

Good thing for that goofball that got Tasered at the Kerry rally in Gainesville the other day that it didn't happen today, or he might have gotten a flogging with the cat o' nine tails instead. And you know THAT will leave a mark!

9.18.2007

Why Buy the Cow?

The New York Times is reversing the decision it made two years ago to put some of its internet content, including all of its opinion columnists, behind its TimesSelect subscription firewall. Most people didn't think that was worth the $50 per year, and just stopped reading the Times' columnists. There's plenty of other internet opinion out there, and why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free elsewhere?

Frankly, most conservatives appreciated it when the Times put their writers behind the cordon sanitaire, which had a reverse megaphone effect in terms of the influence those columnists had on the national political discourse. If a New York Times columnist posts a column in a forest and there's nobody there to read it, does it make a difference?

But now it's two years later, and like the Berlin Wall, the TimesSelect wall has fallen. The haggard inkstained wretches are staggering across the shattered bricks and concrete, waving sheaves of (free) paper at us. Look, isn't that Maureen Whats-her-name? And Frank Whoozis? And David Whatchamacallit? Yeah, I kinda remember them. I've hardly heard a peep from them in two years, and then it was only if a column popped up in the Deseret News or some other influential newspaper like that. The silence has been nice.

Oh, well, I guess they can tell us what the O.J. arrest means for the Democrats in 2008. Joy.

9.17.2007

Juice to Be Squeezed?

We all have a little unwritten list of people that we wish would disappear from public life and never be seen again. We're tired of them, sick and damn tired. And one name appears commonly on many people's lists: O.J. Simpson, acquitted murderer and former football star.

Unfortunately for us all, he's back in the news again. It looks like the justice system is going to have another crack at him, a dozen years after he was acquitted of murdering his ex-wife and a waiter at the restaurant where she had eaten prior to the murder, despite a plethora of evidence of his guilt. The good news for those who like to see justice done is that this time, O.J. is unlikely to get a mostly minority jury; nobody is likely to say, "Well, we've been suffering for injustice from white folks for centuries, so just this once, let's let the minority guy off, no matter whether he did it or not."

Today's background music: Mojo Nixon's "Orenthal James Was A Mighty Bad Man," from his The Real Sock Ray Blue CD. Dig it.

9.16.2007

A-maize-ing

A couple of months ago, when The Simpsons Movie came out, there was some controversy over in England when someone created a maze in the cornfield with the image of Homer Simpson in his underwear. I saw the image then, but I have had no luck in finding it now.

Well, in today's weird news, someone up in Michigan has created a maze in a cornfield with the image of the late former President Gerald Ford:



I dunno... From that angle, it looks more like Al Gore to me.

What do Homer Simpson and Gerald Ford have in common besides being memorialized in maize? Well, they both appeared in an episode of The Simpsons titled "Two Bad Neighbors."



Separated at birth?

9.14.2007

Speaking of Avatars...

My latest Amazon order is Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Complete Book 2 Collection. Yes, it's an animated kid's show on Nickelodeon, but it's a superior example of the genre. The people who came up with the ideas for the show were very creative, and the animation and voice acting are first-rate.

I got The Complete Book 1 Collection, which was the first season (20 episodes), a while back and thoroughly enjoyed it. I should have Book 2 sometime in the next few days.

9.12.2007

Second Life, First Principles

I read this article on the New York Times web site the other day: Even in a Virtual World, ‘Stuff’ Matters

It's about the virtual world Second Life. That link, by the way, is for the Wikipedia entry for Second Life, which was inspired by the Metaverse in the Neal Stephenson novel Snow Crash. Yeah, that's a lot of links, but I think you'll find them very helpful for understanding what virtual worlds are, what they can do now and more importantly, what they may be capable of doing in the future. Snow Crash, by the way, was an excellent novel, but it's not for everyone; if you don't like science fiction in general and the 1990s cyberpunk genre in particular, it may leave you cold.

As the New York Times' article indicates, human nature is the same even in a virtual world. People want to create things, people want to acquire things, and people want to acquire status as well. I was amused by the academic's lament about this:
“Why can’t we break away from a consumerist, appearance-oriented culture?” said Nick Yee, who has studied the sociology of virtual worlds and recently received a doctorate in communication from Stanford. “What does Second Life say about us, that we trade our consumerist-oriented culture for one that’s even worse?”
The answer is that it says that we are human, and that "consumerist appearance-oriented culture" is our innate human nature. Political systems that try to deny that reality, such as communism, inevitably have to try to suppress it. So far, they haven't been successful in creating a New Soviet Man who has no desire to buy things. They only created an environment where there was nothing to buy in the stores, and a five-year waiting list to buy anything remotely worthwhile (unless you were an apparatchik, of course).

And what is Second Life, anyway? As the Wikipedia entry notes:
While Second Life is sometimes referred to as a game, this description is disputed. It does not have points, scores, winners or losers, levels, an end-strategy, or most of the other characteristics of games, though it can be thought of as a game on a more basic level. It is a semi-structured virtual environment where characters undertake activities for the purpose of personal enjoyment.
In a way, it's kind of like the computer game The Sims, where the player purchases houses and furnishings in order to keep his Sims happy. More expensive items make them happier. In the case of Second Life, though, the experience isn't just about upgrading the costume of your avatar or building and furnishing a virtual house. There are many other things that the virtual world allows, and with human ingenuity and the law of unexpected consequences, it seems highly likely that new applications will arise that were not originally planned. For instance, some universities are offering virtual college classes on islands that they have purchased for that purpose. Virtual concerts and art galleries allow a creative outlet for musicians and artists, and a chance for them to show off their skills in a virtual world in order to sell their music and art in the real world.

The technology still isn't quite up to Stephenson's Metaverse, but that may not be far off. When the time arrives that you can slip on a pair of Virtual Reality goggles that give you 360 degree 3D-vision and stereo sound, then you'll be able to move beyond just watching 3D-graphics on a flat-screen monitor. We won't even go into the possibilities involving virtual adult programming, or the virtual reality devices that will likely go with it. Let's just say that it will be a "killer application," one that when it goes online will make someone as rich as Bill Gates.

9.10.2007

Who You Lookin' At?

So who got your eyeballs over the weekend? Were you looking for Osama Bin Laden's latest video, in which he sounds for all the world like he's a second-tier blogger for far-left web sites like Daily Kos or Huffington Post? Or did you go looking for the nude picture of 18-year-old High School Musical starlet Vanessa Hudgens? I went for the latter. Cute nude chicks? I'm there! Truthfully, though, the picture was nothing special; just another amateur nude pic, which are a dime a dozen on the Internet. It wouldn't have even drawn notice, except for that fact that Hudgens is the female star of the squeaky clean Disney franchise targeted at kids.

As for Binny and his wacked-out dyed beard and rambling commentary, I got the best bits from Fox News Channel. It was really kind of funny, because he berates the Democrats for not coming through on their campaign promises to end the war in Iraq. He recommends that we read far-left anti-American writers like Noam Chomsky. Oh, and he invites us to convert to Islam so that we can enjoy those low, low 2.5% tax rates, and not be murdered as the infidels that we are. Such a deal. I'll pass, Binny. I'll pass.

9.06.2007

Apologies to Mr. Bierce

From The Devil's Dictionary:
Improvement, n., any change in company policy or working conditions that makes one's job more complicated and/or difficult, or that increases the chance of injury.
Don't ask. You'd either laugh or cry -- or laugh until you cried.

9.05.2007

Sympathy For Goliath

Over the weekend, I watched most of the Appalachian State-Michigan football game. I heard that heavily-favored Michigan was trailing 21-14 in the second quarter, so I found the game on one of the Big Ten Network alternate channels and watched it through to its fascinating conclusion.

And yes, I cheered for the underdogs, as did just about everyone in the nation who isn't a Michigan fan. After all, this was a Division I-AA team (yes, I know that there's some confusing new designation like "Championship Subdivision", but most people don't know that and would just be baffled if I used it) beating the team that was ranked #5 in the nation. Americans love it when an underdog wins, unless the underdog beats their own team; in that case, the topic immediately turns to firing the coach/manager/general manager. (See "New York Yankees" after any season in which they didn't win the World Series.)

This was one of the greatest "David defeats Goliath" stories in sports history, and we had a local angle: The player who blocked the field goal attempt that could have won the game for Michigan was Corey Lynch, who attended Fort Myers' Evangelical Christian School, and whose father is that school's football coach. One of my co-workers told me that his son had known Lynch when they both went to school there, and that he was a "good kid."

Still, you have to feel a bit sorry for the players and the coach at Michigan. They just dropped from #5 in the AP poll all the way out of the Top 25, the first time that's happened since 1968. They got beat by an Appalachian State team that had won back-to-back I-AA championships, but still shouldn't have been competitive with the #5 team in the land, according to the pollsters. And they got beat in their home stadium, in front of 100,000 fans. Like many early season college football matchups, this was expected to be a lopsided win with the powerhouse home team running up the score to pad their Bowl Championship Series points. But the supposed tomato can turned out not to be a tomato can at all. And the fans and alumni are carping and calling for the coach's scalp.

So now Michigan is down, way down, down to #32 in the AP poll down. They're one week into the season and they can pretty much kiss their title hopes goodbye. Goliath took a sling stone to the noggin and went down hard. So what do the Wolverines do now? Do things fall apart or can the center hold? Is there a chance for redemption? Because if there's one thing Americans love more than an underdog knocking off a heavy favorite, it's the story of the guy who is down on his luck, down in the gutter, who staggers to his feet, pulls himself up by his bootstraps and then makes himself into a success. It's Popeye getting the crap beaten out of him by Bluto until he eats his spinach.

You can't have a redemption story without major failure first. The Michigan Wolverines have definitely done that part. Where will the story line go next? Stay tuned.

9.04.2007

Digger Hats?

President Bush is in Australia for the annual APEC meeting. In previous years, there's always been a photo op in which all of the national leaders dress up in the ceremonial garb of the host country. Most of the time, that's been some kind of colorful silk outfit in whichever Asian country is hosting the meeting that particular year. I wonder what they'll be wearing this year? Will they be dressed up like Crocodile Dundee? That's my guess. I'd be very surprised if there are no digger hats in the picture.

How Gutsy!

I read this article the other day: Pete Seeger sings out against Stalin

The 88-year-old folk singer, who claims to have left the Communist Party around 1950, has finally gotten around to writing a song decrying the cruelty of the late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin. All I could think was, "Wow, what a gutsy thing to do! Writing a song criticizing a despot who's been dead for more than fifty years, and who was the leader of a country that's been out of business for fifteen years. How edgy!"

If Mr. Seeger really wanted to do something edgy, he could write a song criticizing current Russian leader Vladimir Putin. I wouldn't recommend it unless his insurance premiums are paid up, though. Maybe he could criticize the human rights abuses of Fidel Castro. Maybe he could write a song about how awful the kleptocratic regime of Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe is.

But walking into the mausoleum and thumbing his nose at Stalin's moldering bones? Too little, and much, much, too late. When you've been on the wrong side of history your entire life, there's no "come to Jesus" moment that's big enough to fix it.