Columbus Day

Today is Columbus Day, when we celebrate the European discovery of the New World in 1492. It is the most politically incorrect holiday on our calendar (yes, even more than Christmas!). I have to wonder how many more years it will be a holiday.

Christopher Columbus and his Spaniards, after all, showed a callous disregard for the natives, enslaving and torturing many of them in the search for gold, silver and other riches in the Americas. That narrative was pretty much disregarded when I was in elementary school and America was 80-90% white, but as the nation grows increasingly more multi-ethnic and our leaders dwell more on our historical faults rather than our national manifest destiny, Columbus has become symbolic of America's original sin, at least in the eyes of those on the political left.

The Italians would be unhappy if Columbus Day were to be dropped from the holiday list, but hey, how many of them are there? It's not like they're likely to become suicide bombers and start blowing stuff up, like certain other groups would if they were miffed.

Times change, and reality changes with the times. If Pluto can be dropped from planetary status, then Columbus Day could be demoted from legal holiday status to an ethnic festival like St. Patrick's Day. I figure it will happen about the same time as the Washington Redskins and the Cleveland Indians are forced to change their team names.

What would be likely to replace Columbus Day in the legal holiday pantheon? Well, like the Nobel Peace Prize, there's only The One logical choice: August 4th, in honor of Barack Obama.

Now, some might say, "Wait a minute! George Washington and Abe Lincoln have to share a holiday, and Barack Obama gets his own? What's up with that? And isn't he technically included in 'Presidents Day' anyway?"

Well, yes, but they were only presidents; Barack Obama is also our new Messiah! Consider this new holiday one to be awarded not for anything he's done, but for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples." It's not like that would be unprecedented.