11.05.2008

Obummer!

A few comments about yesterday's election results and predictions for the future, before my freedom of speech gets redefined and banned as hate speech:

Last night's theme music was R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)."

Well, America, you've decided to give the keys to the liquor cabinet and the Ferrari to your teenager. Figuratively speaking, of course. I hope your insurance premiums are paid up.

Prediction #1: 2009 will be the Summer of Obummer. The term "Obummer!" will enter the national lexicon as President Obama does things that will disappoint or anger those who voted for him.

"My electric bill doubled last month after Obama signed the Cap-and-Trade Laws!"
"Obummer, man!"

"My kid has to do 100 hours of community service in the Obama Youth!"
"That's an Obummer!"

"I lost my job when Obama raised the taxes on my boss and he had to cut back on personnel."
"Wow, what an Obummer!"

"Obama said I was going to get a tax cut, but now my taxes are going up even more than under Bush!"
"Obummer!"

Prediction #2: By May Day, which will mark the end of Obama's first hundred days, his popularity will fall below 50% and will never go back over that mark for the rest of his presidency, unless there is a terrorist attack that causes the nation to rally around him temporarily.

Prediction #3: Campaign finance reform is dead. No presidential candidate will ever again take public financing.

Prediction #4: I saw Jesse Jackson crying at the Obama victory speech last night. It wasn't "smiling-through-the-tears" crying, though. He looked like his dog had just died. I think the reason why he didn't look happy was that people like him and Al Sharpton are out of a job. The era of the race huckster is over.

If a black man can be elected president in this country, then nobody can blame his or her own failure to succeed on racial discrimination. That crutch is gone for good, even though many will still bitterly cling to it.

Prediction #5: Vice President Joe Biden will be an endless source of amusement over the next four years.